Onward with plot. Plonward.
Jun. 23rd, 2021 03:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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volieredeatoriSo I mentioned that bit that comes in between Eye For an Eye and Resonant?
Here it is. Well. First chapter. There's two.
Have some Senia and Zenos pr0n.
Standing before Zenos, his maniacal laughter ringing in my ears, I can't even honestly put words to what it is I feel.
"Such ferocity...such tenacity," he breathes as the laughter calms enough to allow him to speak, taking a slow and measured step forward, and I want to back away even despite the several fulms of distance still between us, but it is as if my feet are simply rooted to the spot. "I am loath to recall how disappointed I was when first we fought...but finally, finally, after bathing in the blood and offal of your enemies, finally you prove yourself worthy prey for the hunt! I could not have orchestrated events in any finer way than they have come to pass...truly, fortune has smiled upon me by bringing you this far, at last a ripened fruit from the tree of war." Another step, he takes, and another, my instincts screaming at me to turn tail and flee but my traitorous legs moving not the slightest bit. "Now, pray tell me something, if you would?"
I will tell you nothing, I want to cry, but no matter how hard I try, my voice is as recalcitrant and unresponsive as the rest of me.
"It fills you even now, doesn't it? The hunger." His face is perfectly calm now, tranquil even, and yet somehow all the more terrifying for it, his eyes seeming to bore into mine with laser-sharp intensity. "To overpower me, to make me helpless before you - beneath you. To bite down on my jugular, to feel the warmth fill your mouth and run over as you drink deep. To have your fill of my body, using it to satiate your own bestial desires as though I am a mere toy created for your usage. Nay, do not speak - I can see it in your eyes," he is directly in front of me now, staring down at me with the very faintest hint of a sharp smile, and for a single heart-stopping moment I have the wrenching fear that he is about to end me right then and there as his blade lifts towards my throat, only to find myself relieved and baffled in equal measure when all he does is settle the flat of it against my neck, sliding it gently over my skin in a whisper-soft caress of shimmering steel that makes my knees feel strangely weak. "Those desires, Warrior of Light - they overwhelm you, do they not? They render you helpless, unable to do anything but simply...react. Why do you suppress them - why do you not drive them out, when all they do is hold you back?"
The blade leaves my neck, edge glinting in the light, and the terror rises within me again until he does something completely unexpected; he goes to one knee before me, surprisingly graceful even encumbered as he is with the bulky armour that shields him, and I find my gaze inadvertently drawn to the curve of his flawless neck as he tilts his head to bare it, instinctively swallowing hard as I cannot help but focus on the strong pulse that beats there. He must be mad, this must be some sort of trick - but I can do precisely nothing about the alarm bells shrilling in the back of my mind, my eyes widening and my breaths growing quicker as his hand comes up to grasp my chin delicately in armoured fingers. "Good, good...this is the beast I have longed to face. The being of bloodthirst and desire, of single-minded longing. And I intend," his voice drops now, nearly a whisper, and as he draws me in closer to him with the gentlest of tugs, I am completely unable to resist. "To enjoy every single moment of this new battle of ours. The stage is set...and we have only to begin."
The heat that radiates from him, the scent of him, is enfeebling, intoxicating - it makes me feel as if my body is no longer my own, and as he deliberately leans forward and presses his neck to my trembling lips, I entirely cease to realise this is any cause for alarm.
My teeth bite deep, the tang of copper filling my senses, and I am lost.
"Yes, just like that. Drink your fill of me," Zenos murmurs, low and rough, wrapping his hand round the back of my head to hold me there though I have no intent to pull away, my nerves alight with the overwhelming heat that is now rising within me. "Sate your thirst, your hunger - you need not fear, for I desire it just as much as you do. Or perhaps...more..." he trails off, into a sound that is some mixture of a laugh, a contented hum and a pleased moan, sending a fierce shiver down my spine. "Ahh...you are perfect, utterly exquisite. I was not wrong in allowing you to live, in supposing you would gain the strength to stand as an equal to me--" his fingers tighten into my hair, sharp metal scraping over my scalp, and the stinging burn is delicious enough I'm forced to release his neck, taking gasping breaths as my head falls back in an attempt to press into the sensation. "Yes...you truly are the perfect partner for this little dance of ours. But I suppose this is no place to bring our true power to bear, lest we bring the entire complex down on our heads before we have the chance to satisfy ourselves."
He releases me, the clawed tips of his gauntlet tracing across my scalp with just enough pressure that my entire body tingles with frustrated pleasure, and gets to his feet, movements still as smooth and graceful as if we hadn't just been sharing such a carnal closeness. "Come, Warrior of Light," he says, and as I look up at him, eyes glazed and blood dripping from my parted lips, he is smiling placidly. "There is a place far more suitable to be found just outside - one where the very heavens can bear witness to what we are to share. I will await you there; I expect you will make haste."
It is almost infuriating, really, how he turns his back to me and leaves with such an unhurried stride, as if the passionate man who held me only moments before no longer exists.
I cannot bear the insult; I stumble to my feet, wipe my mouth clumsily on the edge of a sleeve, and follow him as quickly as I can.
At any other time, I might admire the scenery outside - flowers in a dizzying array of colours, blocks of smooth stone arranged in perfect paths, and a nearly cloudless sky stretching endlessly above - but right now all I can focus on is one thing and that is Zenos himself, standing amidst the largest of the garden beds, his back turned to me and his hair seeming to shimmer beneath the brilliant sunlight. "Punctual as expected," he says as soon as I have drawn within earshot, and I know even before he turns to me that he has that infuriatingly unreadable smile on his face again, fury already beginning to simmer in my chest the very instant I lay eyes on it. "Allow me to welcome you, then, to the Royal Menagerie."
I say nothing, keeping my eyes fixed silently to his face as if to tell him to simply get on with it already, but he predictably does not, making a sweeping motion that encompasses the whole of the area. "The King of Ruin built this place for his foreign queen...he kept it filled with familiar creatures from her homeland, to remind her of the place she had loved so dearly. They bored me all, I admit," his smile takes on a bit of a sharp edge now, and I would almost swear I can see something stirring in the depths of his eyes, but it's indistinct enough I can't honestly be sure if I'm only imagining it. "This fine specimen, on the other hand, is simply...divine--" another gesture, bringing my attention to something I had somehow managed not to notice even the slightest bit, a glistening barrier containing what looks to be naught but a wicked coil of sharp scales and pure malice, the very sight of it eliciting a cold shudder that very nearly manages to dampen the searing heat pulsing through every last ilm of me. "Your fates are entwined, are they not, eikon-slayer? This dragon, this...embodiment of unbridled despair, born of a desperate man's burning hatred for the Empire...how raw the raging tempest that churns within its breast. No myth made manifest, this, but...a being of pure violence. Just like me...and like you, at the very heart."
I want to shake my head, to become angry and shout at him how wrong he is, yet...in the very depths of my mind, I can't help but consider he may actually be right.
"Mayhap you are the true architect of our design. You who fought the very soul of vengeance to the edge and watched him fall - you who let slip the Allagan hound to drive this eikon into my arms!" Zenos' laugh holds cold cruelty, as is to be expected, yet underneath it is something strangely warm to my ears, and his gaze is bright with emotion only just restrained when he looks me in the eye once more. "Oh...my. Have I said too much? Forgive me, this...sensation is wholly unfamiliar to me. I know not how you have done it, but you have awakened something that has long lain dormant within me...for doing what none before you ever has, my dear Warrior, I really must reward you. Come here; I believe we were in the middle of something, were we not?"
I have enough control of myself now to hesitate, but that also means that when I do finally step closer, it is entirely of my own volition, and the mixture of disappointment and longing that swells in me is almost intolerable. "What," I manage finally, even if it's little more than a rasp, the metallic taste lingering in my mouth growing stronger again when I swallow hard to try and wet my throat. "What exactly is it you plan to do to me?"
Zenos smiles again, all razor edges and biting teeth, and extends his hand to me. "Nothing more than you desire."
That answers nothing, I shout inwardly, but it does - it answers everything, and the guilt that rises in me at that realisation is what spurs me to place my shaking hand in his.
"How alike we are, Warrior of Light. Possessed of the same abilities...the same power. I sensed it in you from the time you first stood before me, defiant and proud despite your sickening, pitiful weakness. Yet all this time, you knew precisely nothing of your true potential, or from whence it comes." Drawing me against his armoured front almost tenderly, Zenos strokes my hair as if to soothe before pressing a finger beneath my chin, lifting my eyes to his once more. "Do not look so confused - I speak of the Echo, of course. A manifestation of boundless ability, one that renders its bearer immune to eikonic influence...or perhaps one could say it merely makes their own influence the stronger, to the same ends. Yet that is but one inconsequential piece of the entire puzzle."
Letting his hand drop, he stoops so that his face is near to mine, close enough that I feel his breath hot on my lips as he stares me right in the eyes, and there is that strange feeling again that something is awakening in the depths of his gaze. "It is through van Baelsar's most thorough reports that endless possibilities have become known to me. One can use this power to bend those without it to their will, to see their deepest secrets - to bind them to its user, whether they be human, beast, or even eikon. Hence the necessary research was brought to my attention," he raises his hand once more, settles it against my cheek, and the warmth of his bare skin surprises me as I hadn't even noticed him removing its shielding armour. "It was those reports that led to the very genesis of the Resonant, those implanted with shards of the Echo...and to so much more. Have you never wondered what it is that sets mankind apart from the lesser - from the beasts that snap and snarl at any who venture too near, the thralls who no longer have a mind worthy of calling their own, their pitiful ilk?"
"No," I manage to breathe out, though I'll never know how, because I feel as if I'm drowning and it isn't even an unpleasant sensation. "I never have."
"Only mankind," Zenos continues, stroking my cheek delicately with his thumb, and there is definitely something in his eyes now that I cannot identify, "has the wisdom and the clarity to embrace violence for its own sake. Only mankind fights for the very joy of it, as opposed to the howling mongrels who fight simply because their sorry instincts tell them to do so. Why is that? - because we who are born into this merciless, meaningless world have but a single candle of life to burn, and must find joy wherever we can." He bends his head further, and for a dizzying moment I find myself all but certain our lips will meet, but instead he rests his forehead against mine so that I see nothing but the pristine blue of his eyes. "I know you understand this, my dear Warrior. You and I...we are one and the same, after all. And that is why I wish to keep you, the only one I have ever met who understands me." His other hand, similarly bare as the first, settles at the other side of my face, and his voice drops to a low, sinful whisper that I do not so much hear as feel. "Together, we could while away the quiet hours, as friend and confidant...if only you will accept me, Y'senia."
The sound of my name on his lips awakens something within me, a consuming desperation, and I don't even think - I act, pushing myself closer, throwing my arms about his neck with heedless abandon and giving him my answer in a single helpless gasp.
"I will - I will accept you."
He smiles and kisses me then, sharp and devouring, and my entire body comes alive with a depth of sensation I have never before known.
Utterly lost before I can even comprehend it, I hardly notice when he lifts me as if I weigh no more than a feather, and it's not until I am on my back amidst the flowers that I'm the least bit aware he has even moved to lay me down, panting harshly and blinking up at him - his body looms over mine now, surrounded by a halation of brilliance from the sunlight it blocks out, and I can't help but dimly think that like this, he may perhaps be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. "I - please," I gasp out, not even honestly sure what I am about to say, "do not - tease me, I...I can't possibly..." but embarrassment takes me then, most infuriatingly, and I trail off into a breathless whine, making to turn my eyes away but finding my efforts stymied by the deceptively gentle way he seizes hold of my chin. "I - I..."
"Be not ashamed," Zenos murmurs, soft and almost hypnotic, the faintest of light sparking in his eyes. "Speak plainly; how am I to know what you wish otherwise?"
"I..." Slowly, shakily, I take a breath and obediently attempt to force down the tightness that chokes my voice to nothing, using that barely-noticeable glimmer as something to focus on that isn't overwhelming shame. "I want - to feel you...I want you to feel me, and the - the pleasure I can give you...no teasing, no hesitation, simply...our bodies as one..." forced to pause there again, the desire burning through me so strong that I can briefly make no sound in the face of it, I wet my lips with a trembling flicker of tongue and tangle my fingers into the sun-bright spill of hair over his shoulders. "Please. Let me...let me feel you. Let me join with you..."
Zenos looks utterly delighted, the strange light in his eyes growing stronger, and traces my lips gently with a finger as if he can't quite believe those words came from me (which, somewhat embarrassingly, I understand; I can't really believe I just said them either.) "My, you can be most delightfully honest, I see...I am impressed. Very well - for that alone, I will give you what it is you want," he murmurs, and then he's raising his body away from mine (much to my chagrined disappointment) to begin removing his armour with an unhurried ease, one which I cannot help but envy as I sit dizzily up and begin tugging at my clothes with clumsy hands. "And so eager, too - you truly grow more and more irresistible with each passing moment. At this rate I may simply have to keep you forever." --a frightening concept, to be sure, but even that can't dampen the heat raging within me, and all I can do is shyly duck my head just a little, biting my lip to hold back a small whimper that nonetheless escapes once he's free of his armour; beneath is nothing but a thin singlet and smallclothes, probably the very least he needs to shield his skin from the bite of unyielding metal and certainly not enough to leave anything to the imagination, and I'm certain I must be staring but there isn't a damned thing I can (or want to, if I am honest) do about it. "Oh, do not stare at me so, like a ravenous beast. If you wish to devour me - then what is it that stops you?"
"I...that was not my intent," I say weakly, but even I don't entirely believe my own self, and my traitorous hands are already reaching for him by the time I've said that much, the heat within me burning all the more strongly when he kneels before me in a mischievous show of obedience - one I know better than to truly take at face value, and I don't want to anyway, the thought of him submitting to me ringing a bit sour in the back of my mind. "You...you said it yourself. We are one and the same; we stand as equals. If there's to be any devouring, then - we must devour each other," and it's honestly surprising how his eyes go just the very smallest bit wide, my words clearly unexpected. "Would that...not please you? To lose yourself in me, all sense of self - while I lose my own self in you, and there is no longer prince, no longer warrior, but simply us. A freedom, of sorts..." my voice breaks just a little, at the distant shame of voicing one of my most secret wants, but I valiantly pretend that didn't happen as I carry on, nervously settling a hand against the marks left on his neck from my earlier biting. "I would...give you that freedom for a time, if you would have it. A respite, if only small...and I would have it from you, in return."
His eyelids flutter the slightest bit, as if trying not to close, and Zenos says nothing for a long moment, instead placing a hand over mine as he studies my face; perhaps trying to ascertain if I speak truth, I think, and I feel a wrenching surge of pity for him. Royalty he may be, Garlemald's heir, yet I have never gotten the impression he cares for the politics or the position, instead viewing them as a heavy weight upon his shoulders - a feeling I know in my own way, burdened as I am with the responsibilities of a Warrior of Light, the tasks I must carry out no matter how much they wear at me. One and the same, indeed-- and the thought brings a wretched, miserable amusement, one I push quickly aside. "A respite," I instead repeat, more strongly, and when his fingers twitch against mine, I feel a slow relief beginning to kindle within me, the unconscious reaction telling me everything I need to know. "Will you not have it...have me, Zenos?"
"I--" he begins, clearly not intending to have spoken from the way surprise flashes across his face, but nonetheless he goes on. "My name. Say it again."
So that's the way of it, I realise, and I find myself smiling, leaning up so our mouths are mere ilms apart, my voice no more than a heartfelt breath on his faintly-parted lips. "Zenos..."
He trembles briefly, yet violently, as if he doesn't know how to react to that single word from my lips (a thought which, the instant I have it, I promptly push away, because it may well be true and that pains me deeply) - but it is only the slightest of moments before that flash of vulnerability is gone, his arms abruptly around me and his mouth descending on mine in a kiss the likes of which I have never experienced before, sharp and biting and coaxing out a feral instinct in me that I would never have imagined even existed before this day; I don't even realise for a time that I am clinging to him in desperation, digging frantic nails into his back in what I can only assume is an attempt to pull myself closer still even though there is no 'closer' to go, and when I do realise it's only because he's reluctantly parting from me to remove that last damnable layer of cloth that rests between us, preventing us from truly becoming one. "Lay back," he hisses roughly, an order I obey immediately, and that brings a sharp smile to his lips that only grows when I at last see him truly bare before me, my eyes widening to the point I'm sure I must look absolutely comical. "Why, whatever is the matter? Do not tell me you have never lain with another before. I would never have thought the Warrior of Light herself to be as a chaste maiden, blushing and virginal."
I would be insulted, really, but that would take far more effort than I'm willing to put forth right now. "Of course I am no innocent," I manage instead, swallowing hard to hold back a faint whine when his smile seems to grow even more sharp edges, "but I - you are rather...that is..." my voice fails me there, and I can only let my eyes flicker lamely downward, hoping he knows what exactly I mean, because I'm not certain I could manage to say it if I had to. "I was, ah...surprised. That's all..."
"Ah," he says, and the smirk his smile has become is entirely not reassuring. "I see now. Any former partners were far less impressive, were they?"
"...Mayhap so," I admit in a reluctant mutter, my cheeks flaring brilliantly red, a fact I try valiantly to ignore. "Are you certain this is--"
One eyebrow arches, almost tauntingly, as he finishes the sentence for me before I have a chance. "Possible? I have the utmost confidence in such...and I find it almost insulting that you would not. But then again, you are rather like me; unsatisfied with words, you prefer actions, something tangible to seize on as proof of things. Therefore," he sets himself over me even as he speaks, close enough I can feel the heat that radiates from him, that the spill of hair over his shoulders falls against my own in a silken caress, and all of a sudden it is all I can do not to seize hold of him and kiss him desperately. "I shall give you that proof. It is what you want, is it not?"
I can't speak for a long moment, feeling as if I am drowning in his eyes, in the depths of his brilliant stare - and brilliant it is, his eyes alight with something I would swear is aetheric in nature despite knowing his heritage. (Surely it can't be...but though the very idea ought to be laughable, I cannot simply discard it so easily, though I try.) "...It is," I answer finally, a quiet breath, and when he shifts so his body covers mine more completely, I feel my pulse beginning to quicken in anticipation. "I ask only that - at the first, pray be a bit gentle with me. It would not do for my screams to bring anyone running..." trying to make a joke of it, I give a wry smile, inhaling slowly as he rests his hands on my thighs and pushes them apart. "Besides, it will...give you the chance to enjoy the moment of our joining...before we lose ourselves..."
"It will," he agrees easily enough, but the sharpness to his expression is not reassuring, and it is all I can do not to tense up in nervousness, a feeling not exactly assuaged when he abruptly sits back and reaches for me, pulling me into his lap. "Mayhap you will appreciate this idea, then - I would see you fill yourself with me. Allow me to watch every moment as you take me within you...as gentle as you prefer. You find this an acceptable compromise, I expect?"
The shiver that goes up my spine at the mere thought is forceful enough to take my breath away, and I'm certain the sound I just made is not something that would ever be heard in polite company, but I'm too far gone to be embarrassed - I want this too much, and if anything, the thought of letting him watch as he enters me is only making me even hotter, even more desperate. "Yes," I gasp out, hardly even a word, "gods, yes--" and he doesn't even have time to smirk at my reaction before I'm reaching down, curling fingers round his thick shaft to hold him in place (and gods, it is massive, sending a nervous thrill through me) as I shakily shift into position, inhaling slowly when I feel the first hint of pressure against me. It's now or never; I can either back off, which I have no intentions of doing, or I can press on, cross that line that I can never step back over and love every minute of it--
The choice is obvious, really.
One more breath, steadying myself - and slowly, gently, I ease myself down, letting out a guttural groan at the burning stretch as he slides into me.
"Oh," Zenos breathes, a sound of pure transcendent awe, as his hands immediately go to my hips to hold on tight, and something about his reaction dimly strikes me as passing strange; for all his earlier dominance, for how he turned me into a mewling heap of naught but pure need with his words and actions, the way he is acting now makes it almost seem like he had no idea of how it would be to at last be one with me, and the thought is almost enough to make me want to laugh. Surely that cannot be the case, there's absolutely no way the crown bloody prince of Garlemald can possibly be a virgin - but damn it all, I just can't dismiss the possibility, and I must be giving him a rather interesting look from the way he speaks up in a breathless huff. "Do not tell me...you are having second thoughts after coming this far...?"
"No," I assure him quickly, giving my head a hard shake and letting out a surprised whine when he shifts against me, even that small movement bringing a wave of searing pleasure. "That isn't it at all - I only..." a slight pause, trying to think of how to say this diplomatically, which would be difficult even if he were not buried to the hilt inside me and has become almost impossible because of the fact he is. "I-I would almost think...that you have never lain with another. But I'm certain...that is not the case at all, so...pray forgive me any insult..."
Zenos pauses, looks at me most intently even despite his eyes being hazed over with lust, and I honestly don't know how to parse that expression - or his brief silence. "Oh? And why are you so certain?"
"I - well, you are..." I trail off, blinking slowly, because he can't possibly be making the implication that I wasn't wrong, can he? "...Would the prince of a nation...not have countless prospects to enjoy?" (A safe enough question, I hope; I don't have the coherency to soften the language any more, and this is not exactly the safest position to be in should he take offence.)
"Prospects," Zenos says, ending on a disgusted, breathy sigh, mouth twisting just a little. "But only that...I have no interest in sharing myself with mewling sycophants and crude boors, to become naught but a notch on some braggart's bedpost or a symbol of status not actually earned. You are the first I have ever wished to claim - and I expect you understand how much of an honour it is. You are not unintelligent, after all--" and the compliment, so unexpected, makes me blush so hard I'm certain my cheeks must actually be afire, my face instinctively burying into his shoulder and earning what sounds suspiciously like a stifled chuckle. "Come now, this is no time for embarrassment. It would be most unlike you not to finish what you have begun...and truly, we have only just begun. Or are you so overwhelmed you simply cannot bear to continue? Would you be so unkind as to disappoint me like that?"
I know he's only teasing, but the thought is sour in my mind, and I'm certain I must look unrepentantly sulky as I raise my head to look him in the eye, countering with a question of my own. "You would make me think I have rendered you helpless by merit of merely having you inside of me? Is that it?"
He blinks once, a slow shuttering of dark lashes, and then he is laughing - outright laughing, a sound of sheer jubilance, holding none of the anger of his earlier mirth. "Oh, you are perfect--" and then he's tangling his fingers into my hair, pulling me in for a biting kiss to silence his laughter against my lips, and any sour feelings are quickly gone to nothingness as I lose myself in the heat of his mouth against mine, the feel of him atop me as he lays me back once more and proceeds to drive me completely out of my mind, movements so smooth and practiced that I would never believe his inexperience if he hadn't admitted it straight to my face. (Even then it's so hard to believe, and it is not as if I don't know how to tell if someone is telling untruths about who they've been with; having had both greatly experienced and completely virginal lovers in the past, even if it is embarrassing to so much as think about, I have become at least a bit knowledgeable about intimacy and its tells.) It almost feels as if we were somehow meant to do this, none of the pain or even discomfort I'd expected on seeing him bared to me for the first time having manifested - but that thought is coming perhaps a bit too close to things I don't think I should be dwelling on and so I push it away, instead letting myself revel in the pure ecstacy.
I will not last, I'm sure, and yet, I don't care one bit.
"If I had imagined," Zenos pants out at my ear, and I can't stop the shivery whine that escapes me at the feel of his hot breath, "you would feel so exquisite, I would have done this so much sooner--" a thought that stirs up even more excitement in me, somehow, and I let my head fall back against the ground in delight, a gasping cry escaping me when he takes advantage of this to latch onto my now-exposed neck with a fierce bite; returning the earlier favour, I suppose, but it's simply too overwhelming for me to dwell on the thought for long, my fingertips pressing into his back and my lips forming incoherent words and noises that only grow more frantic the closer he drives me to my inevitable release. It won't be long now, I'm sure to lose control soon and I desperately want to take him over that metaphorical edge with me - and no sooner has the thought crossed my mind than I'm shifting my hands, replacing the pressure of fingers with the points of my nails and dragging them sharply along his back, and the way he arches and lets out an ecstatic groan that seems to come from the deepest depths of his chest is more than enough reason to keep going. (Never mind that I'm likely leaving some rather angry welts all up and down his back now - the thought that even when they are later hidden, the sting of them will linger and remind him what we've done, is so viscerally wonderful that I very nearly come right then and there, only a supreme effort of willpower holding me back.)
"Yes - harder, do it again--" his voice is a bare hiss against my neck, more felt than heard, and I'm more than happy to comply, digging my nails in hard until they bite through skin and flesh alike, until the wetness against my fingers betrays the blood that wells up in their wake.
The noise he makes is indescribable; his teeth sink sharp into my neck, and I'm so far gone even the pain feels good, my body arching straight off the ground and a wild cry bursting from my lips as I come, so forcefully my vision is drowned in a sea of white light.
It is not long at all - or so I would assume, as it's very difficult to tell the passage of time when I can't think in the least - before he follows me into release, because when I'm coherent enough that the world around me is no longer a formless blur, he's settled himself unmoving atop me (carefully, so carefully, not daring to rest his entire weight against me) and is licking trails of blood from my neck, the ministrations making me tremble vaguely now that I can consciously realise just how sensitive I still am from all of that. "Oh," I manage to breathe at last, with another, sharper shiver when he nips at my neck again before lifting his head to look at me, and the way he's gazing at me is so surprisingly soft that I almost feel like I ought to be embarrassed. "Are you...nn...absolutely certain...you have not done that before?"
He snorts a laugh, clearly surprising himself from how awkward his expression briefly turns, and shakes his head. "Absolutely certain. I would almost think you wish to imagine me with others--" he smirks as he says it, and now I can feel my own expression going hazily sour, the knowledge that he was aiming for exactly that reaction not proving the least bit helpful in staving it off. "Come now, do not frown at me so. Jealousy does not become you in the slightest - as I have told you, none other has ever awakened the feelings within me that you have. I had long ceased to hope that any man existed who could possibly make me feel something, anything, but anger and boredom...and yet..." trailing off, he sighs softly, brings a hand up to cup my cheek and simply looks at me for a long moment, as if too afraid to spoil the moment further. "...I know not what to do with myself, now. Having realised what I cannot have, what I will be forced to consign to the hands of another...it is...a most bitter feeling."
I know I shouldn't feel like my heart is breaking at that, but I do, the pain nearly too much to bear for a long moment, rendering me unable to do anything but lean into his touch and breathe until I don't think I'm going to start crying. "You could have it," I finally start, quiet, unsure, "if - if only you did not stand against us--" but we both know that's hardly possible, even if he is the prince of all Garlemald, or perhaps because he is. "...I don't want it to simply end here either. If only we didn't have to be enemies - even if it meant sneaking about, never letting ourselves be seen, be known - even that much would be better than never being able to lay with you again. And you - you deserve better than what you have had until now," the words burst from me in an impassioned cry, one I hadn't meant to voice but certainly can't take back now. "No one deserves an existence void of affection, of friends, of love - no matter who they are! You are no exception..."
Looking like he isn't exactly sure what to make of my outburst, Zenos simply just looks at me for a long moment, blinking slowly as he absently strokes his fingers along my cheek. "Love, you say," he murmurs finally, the word seeming thick and almost foreign on his tongue, as if he's never so much as spoken it before - which may well be true. "I would have you tell me something. What then, to you, is 'love'?"
"What...? Well..." Not expecting the question, I fumble, forced to mull it over for several long moments before I can answer and desperately hoping I don't sound foolish. "Love is...it's warm, first of all. A warmth that sparks in the depths of your heart, that cannot be extinguished by even the most bitter cold...it's being content to simply spend time with someone, words and actions purely unnecessary...it's when you can't bear to see someone hurting, when you would do anything to take the pain, just so they no longer have to bear it themselves. It's understanding someone beyond words or conscious thought. It's feeling like you've known them forever, even if it's only fair recent you met. It's...wanting to spend eternity at their side," and here I can't help but choke up a little, taking a deep breath. "P-pray forgive me. I seem to be a bit too...overwhelmed to speak of this properly right now. My apologies..."
"None necessary," Zenos murmurs, strokes my cheek once more and then lets his hand fall away, lifting himself off of me with obvious reluctance, the both of us making a small sound when he pulls out of me. "I did not intend to ask such a difficult question of you. You have my thanks, nonetheless, for answering it despite that." Fetching his underthings, he pauses a moment before putting them back on, turning his head to look at me again as I sit slowly up. "...Your words have given me much to consider. To that end, I would put an idea to you."
Unable to deny curiosity, I tilt my head even as I reach for my smallclothes. "An idea?"
"The eikon," Zenos says bluntly. "Think you that you still have the ability, after all of that, to destroy it?"
My eyes widen, and I find myself turning to look at the confined eikon, taking a slow breath. Certainly he can't mean... "Right now?" I question incredulously, and when he inclines his head slightly in agreement, the surprise only grows, followed by determination that kindles hot within me. "...It would not be the absolute worst time I have faced an exceptionally powerful foe, I must admit. It would be risky, but...yes. I think myself able."
Zenos smiles at that, gentle and a little wistful, and nods again. "Then I would have you do exactly that. Destroy it - I will not stand in your way."
Even as hazy as my mind still is, the enormity of his veiled meaning strikes me immediately, and I can't stop my eyes from welling up with overwhelmed tears.
"Your words, as I said, have given me much to consider. Mayhap I should be thanking you - it is a certainty that I would never have walked this path of my own avail." Now fully armoured again, Zenos tosses his hair back, shrugs to settle his breastplate more comfortably and retrieves his weapon, head lifting to gaze up at the eikon with an unreadable stare. "...Truth be told, I now allow this as it makes no difference whether you slay it or let it live. If you had disappointed me, however..." Trailing off, he makes a low sound, almost a wry chuckle, and shakes his head. "Nay, let us not speak of that. It is no use dwelling on what could have been, when it never came to pass. Instead--" shifting his grip on the katana's hilt, he glances back at me, and when he sees me once more clothed and on my feet, he looks satisfied. "Instead, I would have you entertain me once more. To see you bring your true strength to bear, now that I have the opportunity to watch you from a neutral perspective...the very thought excites me. Do make it good, hm?"
I can't keep a slight bitter sadness from my smile, though I do try, but if he notices, he says nothing. "I feel I should be insulted that you think I would do aught else."
"I expected no less," Zenos says lightly, and with a single swift movement, the barrier is severed.
Two things happen at that instant: the eikon awakens, uncurling its scaly body with a great roar, and I am immediately filled with the gnawing horror that something is very, very wrong.
Here it is. Well. First chapter. There's two.
Have some Senia and Zenos pr0n.
Standing before Zenos, his maniacal laughter ringing in my ears, I can't even honestly put words to what it is I feel.
"Such ferocity...such tenacity," he breathes as the laughter calms enough to allow him to speak, taking a slow and measured step forward, and I want to back away even despite the several fulms of distance still between us, but it is as if my feet are simply rooted to the spot. "I am loath to recall how disappointed I was when first we fought...but finally, finally, after bathing in the blood and offal of your enemies, finally you prove yourself worthy prey for the hunt! I could not have orchestrated events in any finer way than they have come to pass...truly, fortune has smiled upon me by bringing you this far, at last a ripened fruit from the tree of war." Another step, he takes, and another, my instincts screaming at me to turn tail and flee but my traitorous legs moving not the slightest bit. "Now, pray tell me something, if you would?"
I will tell you nothing, I want to cry, but no matter how hard I try, my voice is as recalcitrant and unresponsive as the rest of me.
"It fills you even now, doesn't it? The hunger." His face is perfectly calm now, tranquil even, and yet somehow all the more terrifying for it, his eyes seeming to bore into mine with laser-sharp intensity. "To overpower me, to make me helpless before you - beneath you. To bite down on my jugular, to feel the warmth fill your mouth and run over as you drink deep. To have your fill of my body, using it to satiate your own bestial desires as though I am a mere toy created for your usage. Nay, do not speak - I can see it in your eyes," he is directly in front of me now, staring down at me with the very faintest hint of a sharp smile, and for a single heart-stopping moment I have the wrenching fear that he is about to end me right then and there as his blade lifts towards my throat, only to find myself relieved and baffled in equal measure when all he does is settle the flat of it against my neck, sliding it gently over my skin in a whisper-soft caress of shimmering steel that makes my knees feel strangely weak. "Those desires, Warrior of Light - they overwhelm you, do they not? They render you helpless, unable to do anything but simply...react. Why do you suppress them - why do you not drive them out, when all they do is hold you back?"
The blade leaves my neck, edge glinting in the light, and the terror rises within me again until he does something completely unexpected; he goes to one knee before me, surprisingly graceful even encumbered as he is with the bulky armour that shields him, and I find my gaze inadvertently drawn to the curve of his flawless neck as he tilts his head to bare it, instinctively swallowing hard as I cannot help but focus on the strong pulse that beats there. He must be mad, this must be some sort of trick - but I can do precisely nothing about the alarm bells shrilling in the back of my mind, my eyes widening and my breaths growing quicker as his hand comes up to grasp my chin delicately in armoured fingers. "Good, good...this is the beast I have longed to face. The being of bloodthirst and desire, of single-minded longing. And I intend," his voice drops now, nearly a whisper, and as he draws me in closer to him with the gentlest of tugs, I am completely unable to resist. "To enjoy every single moment of this new battle of ours. The stage is set...and we have only to begin."
The heat that radiates from him, the scent of him, is enfeebling, intoxicating - it makes me feel as if my body is no longer my own, and as he deliberately leans forward and presses his neck to my trembling lips, I entirely cease to realise this is any cause for alarm.
My teeth bite deep, the tang of copper filling my senses, and I am lost.
"Yes, just like that. Drink your fill of me," Zenos murmurs, low and rough, wrapping his hand round the back of my head to hold me there though I have no intent to pull away, my nerves alight with the overwhelming heat that is now rising within me. "Sate your thirst, your hunger - you need not fear, for I desire it just as much as you do. Or perhaps...more..." he trails off, into a sound that is some mixture of a laugh, a contented hum and a pleased moan, sending a fierce shiver down my spine. "Ahh...you are perfect, utterly exquisite. I was not wrong in allowing you to live, in supposing you would gain the strength to stand as an equal to me--" his fingers tighten into my hair, sharp metal scraping over my scalp, and the stinging burn is delicious enough I'm forced to release his neck, taking gasping breaths as my head falls back in an attempt to press into the sensation. "Yes...you truly are the perfect partner for this little dance of ours. But I suppose this is no place to bring our true power to bear, lest we bring the entire complex down on our heads before we have the chance to satisfy ourselves."
He releases me, the clawed tips of his gauntlet tracing across my scalp with just enough pressure that my entire body tingles with frustrated pleasure, and gets to his feet, movements still as smooth and graceful as if we hadn't just been sharing such a carnal closeness. "Come, Warrior of Light," he says, and as I look up at him, eyes glazed and blood dripping from my parted lips, he is smiling placidly. "There is a place far more suitable to be found just outside - one where the very heavens can bear witness to what we are to share. I will await you there; I expect you will make haste."
It is almost infuriating, really, how he turns his back to me and leaves with such an unhurried stride, as if the passionate man who held me only moments before no longer exists.
I cannot bear the insult; I stumble to my feet, wipe my mouth clumsily on the edge of a sleeve, and follow him as quickly as I can.
At any other time, I might admire the scenery outside - flowers in a dizzying array of colours, blocks of smooth stone arranged in perfect paths, and a nearly cloudless sky stretching endlessly above - but right now all I can focus on is one thing and that is Zenos himself, standing amidst the largest of the garden beds, his back turned to me and his hair seeming to shimmer beneath the brilliant sunlight. "Punctual as expected," he says as soon as I have drawn within earshot, and I know even before he turns to me that he has that infuriatingly unreadable smile on his face again, fury already beginning to simmer in my chest the very instant I lay eyes on it. "Allow me to welcome you, then, to the Royal Menagerie."
I say nothing, keeping my eyes fixed silently to his face as if to tell him to simply get on with it already, but he predictably does not, making a sweeping motion that encompasses the whole of the area. "The King of Ruin built this place for his foreign queen...he kept it filled with familiar creatures from her homeland, to remind her of the place she had loved so dearly. They bored me all, I admit," his smile takes on a bit of a sharp edge now, and I would almost swear I can see something stirring in the depths of his eyes, but it's indistinct enough I can't honestly be sure if I'm only imagining it. "This fine specimen, on the other hand, is simply...divine--" another gesture, bringing my attention to something I had somehow managed not to notice even the slightest bit, a glistening barrier containing what looks to be naught but a wicked coil of sharp scales and pure malice, the very sight of it eliciting a cold shudder that very nearly manages to dampen the searing heat pulsing through every last ilm of me. "Your fates are entwined, are they not, eikon-slayer? This dragon, this...embodiment of unbridled despair, born of a desperate man's burning hatred for the Empire...how raw the raging tempest that churns within its breast. No myth made manifest, this, but...a being of pure violence. Just like me...and like you, at the very heart."
I want to shake my head, to become angry and shout at him how wrong he is, yet...in the very depths of my mind, I can't help but consider he may actually be right.
"Mayhap you are the true architect of our design. You who fought the very soul of vengeance to the edge and watched him fall - you who let slip the Allagan hound to drive this eikon into my arms!" Zenos' laugh holds cold cruelty, as is to be expected, yet underneath it is something strangely warm to my ears, and his gaze is bright with emotion only just restrained when he looks me in the eye once more. "Oh...my. Have I said too much? Forgive me, this...sensation is wholly unfamiliar to me. I know not how you have done it, but you have awakened something that has long lain dormant within me...for doing what none before you ever has, my dear Warrior, I really must reward you. Come here; I believe we were in the middle of something, were we not?"
I have enough control of myself now to hesitate, but that also means that when I do finally step closer, it is entirely of my own volition, and the mixture of disappointment and longing that swells in me is almost intolerable. "What," I manage finally, even if it's little more than a rasp, the metallic taste lingering in my mouth growing stronger again when I swallow hard to try and wet my throat. "What exactly is it you plan to do to me?"
Zenos smiles again, all razor edges and biting teeth, and extends his hand to me. "Nothing more than you desire."
That answers nothing, I shout inwardly, but it does - it answers everything, and the guilt that rises in me at that realisation is what spurs me to place my shaking hand in his.
"How alike we are, Warrior of Light. Possessed of the same abilities...the same power. I sensed it in you from the time you first stood before me, defiant and proud despite your sickening, pitiful weakness. Yet all this time, you knew precisely nothing of your true potential, or from whence it comes." Drawing me against his armoured front almost tenderly, Zenos strokes my hair as if to soothe before pressing a finger beneath my chin, lifting my eyes to his once more. "Do not look so confused - I speak of the Echo, of course. A manifestation of boundless ability, one that renders its bearer immune to eikonic influence...or perhaps one could say it merely makes their own influence the stronger, to the same ends. Yet that is but one inconsequential piece of the entire puzzle."
Letting his hand drop, he stoops so that his face is near to mine, close enough that I feel his breath hot on my lips as he stares me right in the eyes, and there is that strange feeling again that something is awakening in the depths of his gaze. "It is through van Baelsar's most thorough reports that endless possibilities have become known to me. One can use this power to bend those without it to their will, to see their deepest secrets - to bind them to its user, whether they be human, beast, or even eikon. Hence the necessary research was brought to my attention," he raises his hand once more, settles it against my cheek, and the warmth of his bare skin surprises me as I hadn't even noticed him removing its shielding armour. "It was those reports that led to the very genesis of the Resonant, those implanted with shards of the Echo...and to so much more. Have you never wondered what it is that sets mankind apart from the lesser - from the beasts that snap and snarl at any who venture too near, the thralls who no longer have a mind worthy of calling their own, their pitiful ilk?"
"No," I manage to breathe out, though I'll never know how, because I feel as if I'm drowning and it isn't even an unpleasant sensation. "I never have."
"Only mankind," Zenos continues, stroking my cheek delicately with his thumb, and there is definitely something in his eyes now that I cannot identify, "has the wisdom and the clarity to embrace violence for its own sake. Only mankind fights for the very joy of it, as opposed to the howling mongrels who fight simply because their sorry instincts tell them to do so. Why is that? - because we who are born into this merciless, meaningless world have but a single candle of life to burn, and must find joy wherever we can." He bends his head further, and for a dizzying moment I find myself all but certain our lips will meet, but instead he rests his forehead against mine so that I see nothing but the pristine blue of his eyes. "I know you understand this, my dear Warrior. You and I...we are one and the same, after all. And that is why I wish to keep you, the only one I have ever met who understands me." His other hand, similarly bare as the first, settles at the other side of my face, and his voice drops to a low, sinful whisper that I do not so much hear as feel. "Together, we could while away the quiet hours, as friend and confidant...if only you will accept me, Y'senia."
The sound of my name on his lips awakens something within me, a consuming desperation, and I don't even think - I act, pushing myself closer, throwing my arms about his neck with heedless abandon and giving him my answer in a single helpless gasp.
"I will - I will accept you."
He smiles and kisses me then, sharp and devouring, and my entire body comes alive with a depth of sensation I have never before known.
Utterly lost before I can even comprehend it, I hardly notice when he lifts me as if I weigh no more than a feather, and it's not until I am on my back amidst the flowers that I'm the least bit aware he has even moved to lay me down, panting harshly and blinking up at him - his body looms over mine now, surrounded by a halation of brilliance from the sunlight it blocks out, and I can't help but dimly think that like this, he may perhaps be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. "I - please," I gasp out, not even honestly sure what I am about to say, "do not - tease me, I...I can't possibly..." but embarrassment takes me then, most infuriatingly, and I trail off into a breathless whine, making to turn my eyes away but finding my efforts stymied by the deceptively gentle way he seizes hold of my chin. "I - I..."
"Be not ashamed," Zenos murmurs, soft and almost hypnotic, the faintest of light sparking in his eyes. "Speak plainly; how am I to know what you wish otherwise?"
"I..." Slowly, shakily, I take a breath and obediently attempt to force down the tightness that chokes my voice to nothing, using that barely-noticeable glimmer as something to focus on that isn't overwhelming shame. "I want - to feel you...I want you to feel me, and the - the pleasure I can give you...no teasing, no hesitation, simply...our bodies as one..." forced to pause there again, the desire burning through me so strong that I can briefly make no sound in the face of it, I wet my lips with a trembling flicker of tongue and tangle my fingers into the sun-bright spill of hair over his shoulders. "Please. Let me...let me feel you. Let me join with you..."
Zenos looks utterly delighted, the strange light in his eyes growing stronger, and traces my lips gently with a finger as if he can't quite believe those words came from me (which, somewhat embarrassingly, I understand; I can't really believe I just said them either.) "My, you can be most delightfully honest, I see...I am impressed. Very well - for that alone, I will give you what it is you want," he murmurs, and then he's raising his body away from mine (much to my chagrined disappointment) to begin removing his armour with an unhurried ease, one which I cannot help but envy as I sit dizzily up and begin tugging at my clothes with clumsy hands. "And so eager, too - you truly grow more and more irresistible with each passing moment. At this rate I may simply have to keep you forever." --a frightening concept, to be sure, but even that can't dampen the heat raging within me, and all I can do is shyly duck my head just a little, biting my lip to hold back a small whimper that nonetheless escapes once he's free of his armour; beneath is nothing but a thin singlet and smallclothes, probably the very least he needs to shield his skin from the bite of unyielding metal and certainly not enough to leave anything to the imagination, and I'm certain I must be staring but there isn't a damned thing I can (or want to, if I am honest) do about it. "Oh, do not stare at me so, like a ravenous beast. If you wish to devour me - then what is it that stops you?"
"I...that was not my intent," I say weakly, but even I don't entirely believe my own self, and my traitorous hands are already reaching for him by the time I've said that much, the heat within me burning all the more strongly when he kneels before me in a mischievous show of obedience - one I know better than to truly take at face value, and I don't want to anyway, the thought of him submitting to me ringing a bit sour in the back of my mind. "You...you said it yourself. We are one and the same; we stand as equals. If there's to be any devouring, then - we must devour each other," and it's honestly surprising how his eyes go just the very smallest bit wide, my words clearly unexpected. "Would that...not please you? To lose yourself in me, all sense of self - while I lose my own self in you, and there is no longer prince, no longer warrior, but simply us. A freedom, of sorts..." my voice breaks just a little, at the distant shame of voicing one of my most secret wants, but I valiantly pretend that didn't happen as I carry on, nervously settling a hand against the marks left on his neck from my earlier biting. "I would...give you that freedom for a time, if you would have it. A respite, if only small...and I would have it from you, in return."
His eyelids flutter the slightest bit, as if trying not to close, and Zenos says nothing for a long moment, instead placing a hand over mine as he studies my face; perhaps trying to ascertain if I speak truth, I think, and I feel a wrenching surge of pity for him. Royalty he may be, Garlemald's heir, yet I have never gotten the impression he cares for the politics or the position, instead viewing them as a heavy weight upon his shoulders - a feeling I know in my own way, burdened as I am with the responsibilities of a Warrior of Light, the tasks I must carry out no matter how much they wear at me. One and the same, indeed-- and the thought brings a wretched, miserable amusement, one I push quickly aside. "A respite," I instead repeat, more strongly, and when his fingers twitch against mine, I feel a slow relief beginning to kindle within me, the unconscious reaction telling me everything I need to know. "Will you not have it...have me, Zenos?"
"I--" he begins, clearly not intending to have spoken from the way surprise flashes across his face, but nonetheless he goes on. "My name. Say it again."
So that's the way of it, I realise, and I find myself smiling, leaning up so our mouths are mere ilms apart, my voice no more than a heartfelt breath on his faintly-parted lips. "Zenos..."
He trembles briefly, yet violently, as if he doesn't know how to react to that single word from my lips (a thought which, the instant I have it, I promptly push away, because it may well be true and that pains me deeply) - but it is only the slightest of moments before that flash of vulnerability is gone, his arms abruptly around me and his mouth descending on mine in a kiss the likes of which I have never experienced before, sharp and biting and coaxing out a feral instinct in me that I would never have imagined even existed before this day; I don't even realise for a time that I am clinging to him in desperation, digging frantic nails into his back in what I can only assume is an attempt to pull myself closer still even though there is no 'closer' to go, and when I do realise it's only because he's reluctantly parting from me to remove that last damnable layer of cloth that rests between us, preventing us from truly becoming one. "Lay back," he hisses roughly, an order I obey immediately, and that brings a sharp smile to his lips that only grows when I at last see him truly bare before me, my eyes widening to the point I'm sure I must look absolutely comical. "Why, whatever is the matter? Do not tell me you have never lain with another before. I would never have thought the Warrior of Light herself to be as a chaste maiden, blushing and virginal."
I would be insulted, really, but that would take far more effort than I'm willing to put forth right now. "Of course I am no innocent," I manage instead, swallowing hard to hold back a faint whine when his smile seems to grow even more sharp edges, "but I - you are rather...that is..." my voice fails me there, and I can only let my eyes flicker lamely downward, hoping he knows what exactly I mean, because I'm not certain I could manage to say it if I had to. "I was, ah...surprised. That's all..."
"Ah," he says, and the smirk his smile has become is entirely not reassuring. "I see now. Any former partners were far less impressive, were they?"
"...Mayhap so," I admit in a reluctant mutter, my cheeks flaring brilliantly red, a fact I try valiantly to ignore. "Are you certain this is--"
One eyebrow arches, almost tauntingly, as he finishes the sentence for me before I have a chance. "Possible? I have the utmost confidence in such...and I find it almost insulting that you would not. But then again, you are rather like me; unsatisfied with words, you prefer actions, something tangible to seize on as proof of things. Therefore," he sets himself over me even as he speaks, close enough I can feel the heat that radiates from him, that the spill of hair over his shoulders falls against my own in a silken caress, and all of a sudden it is all I can do not to seize hold of him and kiss him desperately. "I shall give you that proof. It is what you want, is it not?"
I can't speak for a long moment, feeling as if I am drowning in his eyes, in the depths of his brilliant stare - and brilliant it is, his eyes alight with something I would swear is aetheric in nature despite knowing his heritage. (Surely it can't be...but though the very idea ought to be laughable, I cannot simply discard it so easily, though I try.) "...It is," I answer finally, a quiet breath, and when he shifts so his body covers mine more completely, I feel my pulse beginning to quicken in anticipation. "I ask only that - at the first, pray be a bit gentle with me. It would not do for my screams to bring anyone running..." trying to make a joke of it, I give a wry smile, inhaling slowly as he rests his hands on my thighs and pushes them apart. "Besides, it will...give you the chance to enjoy the moment of our joining...before we lose ourselves..."
"It will," he agrees easily enough, but the sharpness to his expression is not reassuring, and it is all I can do not to tense up in nervousness, a feeling not exactly assuaged when he abruptly sits back and reaches for me, pulling me into his lap. "Mayhap you will appreciate this idea, then - I would see you fill yourself with me. Allow me to watch every moment as you take me within you...as gentle as you prefer. You find this an acceptable compromise, I expect?"
The shiver that goes up my spine at the mere thought is forceful enough to take my breath away, and I'm certain the sound I just made is not something that would ever be heard in polite company, but I'm too far gone to be embarrassed - I want this too much, and if anything, the thought of letting him watch as he enters me is only making me even hotter, even more desperate. "Yes," I gasp out, hardly even a word, "gods, yes--" and he doesn't even have time to smirk at my reaction before I'm reaching down, curling fingers round his thick shaft to hold him in place (and gods, it is massive, sending a nervous thrill through me) as I shakily shift into position, inhaling slowly when I feel the first hint of pressure against me. It's now or never; I can either back off, which I have no intentions of doing, or I can press on, cross that line that I can never step back over and love every minute of it--
The choice is obvious, really.
One more breath, steadying myself - and slowly, gently, I ease myself down, letting out a guttural groan at the burning stretch as he slides into me.
"Oh," Zenos breathes, a sound of pure transcendent awe, as his hands immediately go to my hips to hold on tight, and something about his reaction dimly strikes me as passing strange; for all his earlier dominance, for how he turned me into a mewling heap of naught but pure need with his words and actions, the way he is acting now makes it almost seem like he had no idea of how it would be to at last be one with me, and the thought is almost enough to make me want to laugh. Surely that cannot be the case, there's absolutely no way the crown bloody prince of Garlemald can possibly be a virgin - but damn it all, I just can't dismiss the possibility, and I must be giving him a rather interesting look from the way he speaks up in a breathless huff. "Do not tell me...you are having second thoughts after coming this far...?"
"No," I assure him quickly, giving my head a hard shake and letting out a surprised whine when he shifts against me, even that small movement bringing a wave of searing pleasure. "That isn't it at all - I only..." a slight pause, trying to think of how to say this diplomatically, which would be difficult even if he were not buried to the hilt inside me and has become almost impossible because of the fact he is. "I-I would almost think...that you have never lain with another. But I'm certain...that is not the case at all, so...pray forgive me any insult..."
Zenos pauses, looks at me most intently even despite his eyes being hazed over with lust, and I honestly don't know how to parse that expression - or his brief silence. "Oh? And why are you so certain?"
"I - well, you are..." I trail off, blinking slowly, because he can't possibly be making the implication that I wasn't wrong, can he? "...Would the prince of a nation...not have countless prospects to enjoy?" (A safe enough question, I hope; I don't have the coherency to soften the language any more, and this is not exactly the safest position to be in should he take offence.)
"Prospects," Zenos says, ending on a disgusted, breathy sigh, mouth twisting just a little. "But only that...I have no interest in sharing myself with mewling sycophants and crude boors, to become naught but a notch on some braggart's bedpost or a symbol of status not actually earned. You are the first I have ever wished to claim - and I expect you understand how much of an honour it is. You are not unintelligent, after all--" and the compliment, so unexpected, makes me blush so hard I'm certain my cheeks must actually be afire, my face instinctively burying into his shoulder and earning what sounds suspiciously like a stifled chuckle. "Come now, this is no time for embarrassment. It would be most unlike you not to finish what you have begun...and truly, we have only just begun. Or are you so overwhelmed you simply cannot bear to continue? Would you be so unkind as to disappoint me like that?"
I know he's only teasing, but the thought is sour in my mind, and I'm certain I must look unrepentantly sulky as I raise my head to look him in the eye, countering with a question of my own. "You would make me think I have rendered you helpless by merit of merely having you inside of me? Is that it?"
He blinks once, a slow shuttering of dark lashes, and then he is laughing - outright laughing, a sound of sheer jubilance, holding none of the anger of his earlier mirth. "Oh, you are perfect--" and then he's tangling his fingers into my hair, pulling me in for a biting kiss to silence his laughter against my lips, and any sour feelings are quickly gone to nothingness as I lose myself in the heat of his mouth against mine, the feel of him atop me as he lays me back once more and proceeds to drive me completely out of my mind, movements so smooth and practiced that I would never believe his inexperience if he hadn't admitted it straight to my face. (Even then it's so hard to believe, and it is not as if I don't know how to tell if someone is telling untruths about who they've been with; having had both greatly experienced and completely virginal lovers in the past, even if it is embarrassing to so much as think about, I have become at least a bit knowledgeable about intimacy and its tells.) It almost feels as if we were somehow meant to do this, none of the pain or even discomfort I'd expected on seeing him bared to me for the first time having manifested - but that thought is coming perhaps a bit too close to things I don't think I should be dwelling on and so I push it away, instead letting myself revel in the pure ecstacy.
I will not last, I'm sure, and yet, I don't care one bit.
"If I had imagined," Zenos pants out at my ear, and I can't stop the shivery whine that escapes me at the feel of his hot breath, "you would feel so exquisite, I would have done this so much sooner--" a thought that stirs up even more excitement in me, somehow, and I let my head fall back against the ground in delight, a gasping cry escaping me when he takes advantage of this to latch onto my now-exposed neck with a fierce bite; returning the earlier favour, I suppose, but it's simply too overwhelming for me to dwell on the thought for long, my fingertips pressing into his back and my lips forming incoherent words and noises that only grow more frantic the closer he drives me to my inevitable release. It won't be long now, I'm sure to lose control soon and I desperately want to take him over that metaphorical edge with me - and no sooner has the thought crossed my mind than I'm shifting my hands, replacing the pressure of fingers with the points of my nails and dragging them sharply along his back, and the way he arches and lets out an ecstatic groan that seems to come from the deepest depths of his chest is more than enough reason to keep going. (Never mind that I'm likely leaving some rather angry welts all up and down his back now - the thought that even when they are later hidden, the sting of them will linger and remind him what we've done, is so viscerally wonderful that I very nearly come right then and there, only a supreme effort of willpower holding me back.)
"Yes - harder, do it again--" his voice is a bare hiss against my neck, more felt than heard, and I'm more than happy to comply, digging my nails in hard until they bite through skin and flesh alike, until the wetness against my fingers betrays the blood that wells up in their wake.
The noise he makes is indescribable; his teeth sink sharp into my neck, and I'm so far gone even the pain feels good, my body arching straight off the ground and a wild cry bursting from my lips as I come, so forcefully my vision is drowned in a sea of white light.
It is not long at all - or so I would assume, as it's very difficult to tell the passage of time when I can't think in the least - before he follows me into release, because when I'm coherent enough that the world around me is no longer a formless blur, he's settled himself unmoving atop me (carefully, so carefully, not daring to rest his entire weight against me) and is licking trails of blood from my neck, the ministrations making me tremble vaguely now that I can consciously realise just how sensitive I still am from all of that. "Oh," I manage to breathe at last, with another, sharper shiver when he nips at my neck again before lifting his head to look at me, and the way he's gazing at me is so surprisingly soft that I almost feel like I ought to be embarrassed. "Are you...nn...absolutely certain...you have not done that before?"
He snorts a laugh, clearly surprising himself from how awkward his expression briefly turns, and shakes his head. "Absolutely certain. I would almost think you wish to imagine me with others--" he smirks as he says it, and now I can feel my own expression going hazily sour, the knowledge that he was aiming for exactly that reaction not proving the least bit helpful in staving it off. "Come now, do not frown at me so. Jealousy does not become you in the slightest - as I have told you, none other has ever awakened the feelings within me that you have. I had long ceased to hope that any man existed who could possibly make me feel something, anything, but anger and boredom...and yet..." trailing off, he sighs softly, brings a hand up to cup my cheek and simply looks at me for a long moment, as if too afraid to spoil the moment further. "...I know not what to do with myself, now. Having realised what I cannot have, what I will be forced to consign to the hands of another...it is...a most bitter feeling."
I know I shouldn't feel like my heart is breaking at that, but I do, the pain nearly too much to bear for a long moment, rendering me unable to do anything but lean into his touch and breathe until I don't think I'm going to start crying. "You could have it," I finally start, quiet, unsure, "if - if only you did not stand against us--" but we both know that's hardly possible, even if he is the prince of all Garlemald, or perhaps because he is. "...I don't want it to simply end here either. If only we didn't have to be enemies - even if it meant sneaking about, never letting ourselves be seen, be known - even that much would be better than never being able to lay with you again. And you - you deserve better than what you have had until now," the words burst from me in an impassioned cry, one I hadn't meant to voice but certainly can't take back now. "No one deserves an existence void of affection, of friends, of love - no matter who they are! You are no exception..."
Looking like he isn't exactly sure what to make of my outburst, Zenos simply just looks at me for a long moment, blinking slowly as he absently strokes his fingers along my cheek. "Love, you say," he murmurs finally, the word seeming thick and almost foreign on his tongue, as if he's never so much as spoken it before - which may well be true. "I would have you tell me something. What then, to you, is 'love'?"
"What...? Well..." Not expecting the question, I fumble, forced to mull it over for several long moments before I can answer and desperately hoping I don't sound foolish. "Love is...it's warm, first of all. A warmth that sparks in the depths of your heart, that cannot be extinguished by even the most bitter cold...it's being content to simply spend time with someone, words and actions purely unnecessary...it's when you can't bear to see someone hurting, when you would do anything to take the pain, just so they no longer have to bear it themselves. It's understanding someone beyond words or conscious thought. It's feeling like you've known them forever, even if it's only fair recent you met. It's...wanting to spend eternity at their side," and here I can't help but choke up a little, taking a deep breath. "P-pray forgive me. I seem to be a bit too...overwhelmed to speak of this properly right now. My apologies..."
"None necessary," Zenos murmurs, strokes my cheek once more and then lets his hand fall away, lifting himself off of me with obvious reluctance, the both of us making a small sound when he pulls out of me. "I did not intend to ask such a difficult question of you. You have my thanks, nonetheless, for answering it despite that." Fetching his underthings, he pauses a moment before putting them back on, turning his head to look at me again as I sit slowly up. "...Your words have given me much to consider. To that end, I would put an idea to you."
Unable to deny curiosity, I tilt my head even as I reach for my smallclothes. "An idea?"
"The eikon," Zenos says bluntly. "Think you that you still have the ability, after all of that, to destroy it?"
My eyes widen, and I find myself turning to look at the confined eikon, taking a slow breath. Certainly he can't mean... "Right now?" I question incredulously, and when he inclines his head slightly in agreement, the surprise only grows, followed by determination that kindles hot within me. "...It would not be the absolute worst time I have faced an exceptionally powerful foe, I must admit. It would be risky, but...yes. I think myself able."
Zenos smiles at that, gentle and a little wistful, and nods again. "Then I would have you do exactly that. Destroy it - I will not stand in your way."
Even as hazy as my mind still is, the enormity of his veiled meaning strikes me immediately, and I can't stop my eyes from welling up with overwhelmed tears.
"Your words, as I said, have given me much to consider. Mayhap I should be thanking you - it is a certainty that I would never have walked this path of my own avail." Now fully armoured again, Zenos tosses his hair back, shrugs to settle his breastplate more comfortably and retrieves his weapon, head lifting to gaze up at the eikon with an unreadable stare. "...Truth be told, I now allow this as it makes no difference whether you slay it or let it live. If you had disappointed me, however..." Trailing off, he makes a low sound, almost a wry chuckle, and shakes his head. "Nay, let us not speak of that. It is no use dwelling on what could have been, when it never came to pass. Instead--" shifting his grip on the katana's hilt, he glances back at me, and when he sees me once more clothed and on my feet, he looks satisfied. "Instead, I would have you entertain me once more. To see you bring your true strength to bear, now that I have the opportunity to watch you from a neutral perspective...the very thought excites me. Do make it good, hm?"
I can't keep a slight bitter sadness from my smile, though I do try, but if he notices, he says nothing. "I feel I should be insulted that you think I would do aught else."
"I expected no less," Zenos says lightly, and with a single swift movement, the barrier is severed.
Two things happen at that instant: the eikon awakens, uncurling its scaly body with a great roar, and I am immediately filled with the gnawing horror that something is very, very wrong.
