Summer fic challenge 2016, part 5.
Aug. 16th, 2016 04:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
merikuru posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
volieredeatoriFINALLY. Augh. *collapses in heap of Yay I Finished*
Lasswell has been telling Fina stories all day, and Rain can't take it anymore.
The stories began innocently enough - tales of their childhood, of their young adventures and what it was like to grow up together. But then, just as Rain had feared, the subject had shifted - sliding away from strictly "them", bringing in memories of others who had surrounded them in the earlier years. Memories of fellow knights, friends and enemies.
Memories of his mother - of his father. What he wants to overhear least.
He knows Lasswell means no harm by it, but the worshipful adoration in his voice with every word makes that knowledge a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. It often seems that the Raegen in Lasswell's memories and the Raegen in his own are two different people - one a devoted and caring man who delighted in sharing knowledge, the other a neglectful man who would rush off at the slightest provocation with no thought given to his waiting family. He's biased, he knows, thinking bitterly about how his mother had simply seemed to fade away more and more each time; but bias or no, the fact remains that he just can't stand all this endless idolatry and he doesn't know how to stop it. Lasswell would certainly be angry if he interrupted, and he doesn't want to disappoint Fina, who is obviously greatly enjoying the stories...but even so, even so...
He's sunk so deep into this smothering loathing that he doesn't notice when Lasswell quits speaking, doesn't notice him coming closer till hand on shoulder makes his presence known. "Rain. Is something the matter?"
"No," he says automatically, dully but laced with vitriol, and immediately feels bad when something dark briefly shutters across Lasswell's eyes, quickly moderating his tone into something a little less painful. "...No. I'm just thinking. Don't worry about me." Though he knows that's only likely to cause more worry - but what else is he supposed to say? "...Sorry."
"Thinking about Sir Raegen?" As gently as Lasswell says it, the question seems to pierce Rain right through the heart, and he finds himself biting his tongue to stop an acid retort as he pulls away. This might be even worse really, no longer just a bystander to the conversation but pulled into it - and now he's just overreacting, he tries to tell himself, because he knows in the deepest parts of his mind that he is even though that doesn't change his feelings. He's overreacting at the same time he feels he's downright justified to do so and it's a poisonous pain within him, one that forces him to close his eyes and breathe deeply as he tries to push it away. He can't give in to it, he can't break. Not here, not now.
A touch on his arm startles him from the downward spiral, and he opens his eyes again to see Fina there, looking terribly concerned indeed, one hand now squeezing his arm and the other hovering near his face as if to touch, perhaps soothe. "What's wrong, Rain? You...you look like you're in pain. Are you okay?"
Strangely, he does feel a little soothed when her fingers brush his cheek, softly, uncertainly.
"...I'll be fine." A sort of compromise; he knows he can't say he is fine but now he isn't lying. He will be fine, once this godsbedamned funk passes. "Sorry, Fina. I wasn't trying to worry you. Really...I'll be fine."
She doesn't quite look like she believes him; she squeezes his arm again, releases it and then suddenly wraps him in a tight hug, leaning her head against his chest. "...Are you sure?"
"Yeah." She's warm against him; it's melting away the horrible ache, pulling him out of the mire that is his memories and back into the present time, and he can't help but wrap a grateful arm around her as the tension slowly leaves his shoulders. "Thank you..."
Fina hums soft response, looks up at him and offers a smile. "You're my friend. I don't want to see you upset. So..." she pauses there, looks just the smallest bit awkward. "This was a good thing to do, right?"
"It was," Lasswell answers before Rain can, and much to his surprise, there's suddenly another set of arms around him and the two-person hug has expanded to three. "Either of us would do the same for you. Isn't that right, Rain?"
Rain nods emphatically, finally able to offer a smile of his own, suddenly glad they're both holding him up as the release of all that negative emotion is making his legs feel weak. "Of course we would. It's like you said, Fina. We're friends."
Fina giggles and hugs him tighter, then lets go, takes a step back and tilts her head at him inquisitively. "Oh, by the way! Why don't you tell some stories for a while, Rain? I'm sure you know some good ones that Lasswell doesn't!"
"Me? Well..." It's not a half-bad idea really; he can at least be sure there won't be any inadvertently painful subject matter that way. "I can do that. But just for a little while, we still have to get some decent rest before we head out again, alright?"
Fina claps her hands happily, rocking up onto her tiptoes in something not quite a happy jump. "Alright! Tell me about...oh, Lasswell mentioned something about chocobos when he was telling stories, what was that all about?"
Rain glances automatically at Lasswell, sees his face briefly contort in a quickly-hidden wince, and can't help but grin. Maybe it's a little mean of him, but now he can get some lighthearted revenge.
"Well, you see, we were exploring one day..."
Lasswell has been telling Fina stories all day, and Rain can't take it anymore.
The stories began innocently enough - tales of their childhood, of their young adventures and what it was like to grow up together. But then, just as Rain had feared, the subject had shifted - sliding away from strictly "them", bringing in memories of others who had surrounded them in the earlier years. Memories of fellow knights, friends and enemies.
Memories of his mother - of his father. What he wants to overhear least.
He knows Lasswell means no harm by it, but the worshipful adoration in his voice with every word makes that knowledge a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. It often seems that the Raegen in Lasswell's memories and the Raegen in his own are two different people - one a devoted and caring man who delighted in sharing knowledge, the other a neglectful man who would rush off at the slightest provocation with no thought given to his waiting family. He's biased, he knows, thinking bitterly about how his mother had simply seemed to fade away more and more each time; but bias or no, the fact remains that he just can't stand all this endless idolatry and he doesn't know how to stop it. Lasswell would certainly be angry if he interrupted, and he doesn't want to disappoint Fina, who is obviously greatly enjoying the stories...but even so, even so...
He's sunk so deep into this smothering loathing that he doesn't notice when Lasswell quits speaking, doesn't notice him coming closer till hand on shoulder makes his presence known. "Rain. Is something the matter?"
"No," he says automatically, dully but laced with vitriol, and immediately feels bad when something dark briefly shutters across Lasswell's eyes, quickly moderating his tone into something a little less painful. "...No. I'm just thinking. Don't worry about me." Though he knows that's only likely to cause more worry - but what else is he supposed to say? "...Sorry."
"Thinking about Sir Raegen?" As gently as Lasswell says it, the question seems to pierce Rain right through the heart, and he finds himself biting his tongue to stop an acid retort as he pulls away. This might be even worse really, no longer just a bystander to the conversation but pulled into it - and now he's just overreacting, he tries to tell himself, because he knows in the deepest parts of his mind that he is even though that doesn't change his feelings. He's overreacting at the same time he feels he's downright justified to do so and it's a poisonous pain within him, one that forces him to close his eyes and breathe deeply as he tries to push it away. He can't give in to it, he can't break. Not here, not now.
A touch on his arm startles him from the downward spiral, and he opens his eyes again to see Fina there, looking terribly concerned indeed, one hand now squeezing his arm and the other hovering near his face as if to touch, perhaps soothe. "What's wrong, Rain? You...you look like you're in pain. Are you okay?"
Strangely, he does feel a little soothed when her fingers brush his cheek, softly, uncertainly.
"...I'll be fine." A sort of compromise; he knows he can't say he is fine but now he isn't lying. He will be fine, once this godsbedamned funk passes. "Sorry, Fina. I wasn't trying to worry you. Really...I'll be fine."
She doesn't quite look like she believes him; she squeezes his arm again, releases it and then suddenly wraps him in a tight hug, leaning her head against his chest. "...Are you sure?"
"Yeah." She's warm against him; it's melting away the horrible ache, pulling him out of the mire that is his memories and back into the present time, and he can't help but wrap a grateful arm around her as the tension slowly leaves his shoulders. "Thank you..."
Fina hums soft response, looks up at him and offers a smile. "You're my friend. I don't want to see you upset. So..." she pauses there, looks just the smallest bit awkward. "This was a good thing to do, right?"
"It was," Lasswell answers before Rain can, and much to his surprise, there's suddenly another set of arms around him and the two-person hug has expanded to three. "Either of us would do the same for you. Isn't that right, Rain?"
Rain nods emphatically, finally able to offer a smile of his own, suddenly glad they're both holding him up as the release of all that negative emotion is making his legs feel weak. "Of course we would. It's like you said, Fina. We're friends."
Fina giggles and hugs him tighter, then lets go, takes a step back and tilts her head at him inquisitively. "Oh, by the way! Why don't you tell some stories for a while, Rain? I'm sure you know some good ones that Lasswell doesn't!"
"Me? Well..." It's not a half-bad idea really; he can at least be sure there won't be any inadvertently painful subject matter that way. "I can do that. But just for a little while, we still have to get some decent rest before we head out again, alright?"
Fina claps her hands happily, rocking up onto her tiptoes in something not quite a happy jump. "Alright! Tell me about...oh, Lasswell mentioned something about chocobos when he was telling stories, what was that all about?"
Rain glances automatically at Lasswell, sees his face briefly contort in a quickly-hidden wince, and can't help but grin. Maybe it's a little mean of him, but now he can get some lighthearted revenge.
"Well, you see, we were exploring one day..."
